I have never wanted to blame other people for everything that went wrong. But instead, I’d scold myself. I pushed myself to the edge of a cliff and threatened her with the point of a sharp blade. I stabbed her in the heart, threw her into the high seas so she’d be drowned by high tides and waves. All the punishments I’ve given to her was never felt enough. Why weren’t you stronger? Why weren’t you smarter? Harsh and difficult questions to every unfortunate...

 Love-birds tend to make corny promises when they get married. One of which is to stay together until death do them part. But what happened after death? Does love suddenly dissapear and it’s okay for one spouse to look for another and repeat to promise the same thing?The concept of monogamy somehow becomes blurry; yes, they’re only married to one person at a time, but no, they’re not in love with one person only.I’ve never married and don’t...

 December 31st, 2022Today I went swimming and l thought of you. Are you still swimming these days? I am still wearing the same wetsuit that I used to wear whenever I went swimming with you all those years ago, though I wear a different sport hijab lately.The water still goes in to my nostrils everytime I try to catch a breath; my habit that made you buying a pair of nose plugs for me. You always told me to catch the breath before the face touch...

I had so much visions for 2021; graduated, getting married, and getting my first job. Then I had to swallow a super-bitter pill when things turned out the way I never imagined they would.On early 2021, a shocking truth, one thing I never imagined would come true in my life, the last last thing on earth I wished to happen, happened. I lost my mother. In a blink of an eye. Out of the blue. To this day I’m still trying to digest that fact.My life started...

Lately, I’ve been in a relationship with someone I’d never thought I’d date. After I met him, all these crazy lists of features I had for my ideal boyfriend vanished. It’s just... we clicked. I could spend hours and hours of talking to him without having to worry we’d run out of topics. I laugh at his jokes. I love how he knows things I don’t, and he shares; about how solar energy could turn the traffic lights on, how geothermal makes electricity,...

Ditatapnya kedua bola mata cerah perempuan itu. Hatinya tak henti mengucap syukur, Tuhan berikan ia sebagai teman hidupnya. “Kenapa kau mau menerimaku?”, ia masih heran. “Tuhan kirimkan kau untuk kucintai, dan mencintaiku.” Dapur di rumah mereka menguarkan harum-haruman yang membuat lelaki itu hanya ingin makan di rumah. “Uda mau makan apa?” diucapkan dengan suara paling lembut sedunia. Tuhan, inikah surga? Orang-orang melihat betapa...